Enough...wanting

Standing in the shower this morning while my son sat in his high chair just outside the door laughing and finishing his breakfast I had a light bulb flash off and on between my ears. This is one of the few moments I get to myself during the day and I try to pretend I am by myself for just a moment. This thought flashed in my brain that I have been trying to de clutter and organize my home yet I am wanting to buy shelving, bins and baskets to organize what we have.
I'm not sure how buying more items that I can't afford pairs with my desire to live with less. In some way it feels that my urge to de clutter conflicts with the other need of being more organized. At the moment I don't feel as if I have made any progress in clearing out the "stuff" maybe its my haphazard approach or the relocating the piles of stuff from here to there.

Now I am asking myself when or how much is enough? How do I get further organized without purchasing shelving and bins?

An alternative to the New Year's Resolution

Tonight I stumbled upon a new blog I haven't seen before Practical Parenting where the author spoke about focusing on the happy stuff for the new year instead of making resolutions that we don't follow through. Her first post titled Project Happy launches a great way to think about the new year and a great way to focus on  even the smallest moment of joy each day.

I know personally this would be a great project for me to be part of. I could  really use this kick in the  pants and focus on the happiness in my every day existence. I also know that documenting my happiness weekly will be very challenging. It means changing the way I think and making an effort to comment on what makes me smile each day.

My happiness today was listening to my son laughing as I tossed him in the air and completing my gift to my husband...a few day late

Living with less...toys

As my son's mother I of course want the best for him this includes appropriate toys. The first question that arises is who deems the toys to be appropriate? At the moment its me and I am making the determination by reading articles online about age appropriate toys. I also have personal preferences for having as few battery operated items in the home as I feel its wasteful and who needs all the noise that battery operated toys bring!
I blogged last year about this same topic on my other blog. Christmas Musings I still feel the same way a year later and have not made any decisions or come to any conclusions regarding our Christmas celebrations.

With these thing in mind I have continued to narrow down the toys we have out for Saylor to play with by going through the wooden toy box and removing toys that were no longer age appropriate or he wasn't playing with. I also took all of the the toys out of the toy box and put what I was going to leave out for him on a book shelf I moved from another part of the house.

Saylor has books and toys he can access any time and in the 2 pink totes a wonderful set of wooden blocks. Pete and I have noticed that Saylor is being more selective in what he chooses to play with now and there are fewer to strewn around. After iChristmas is over and life returns to its normal rythms I will once again go through his toys and put a few away  for a little while. So that he can have  something "new" to play with later on.

I have also found some wonderful blog posts that reflect my feelings about living with less.
Loving earth mama -why having less toys may bring more happiness and The mother co - Too many toys

I had a wonderful experience yesterday that truly renewed my belief in the spirit of the season. On a whim Pete, myself, Saylor and Ana (aka Grandma) decided to go out for lunch in a local community called Chemainus . We always eat at the Willow street cafe where the food is made on the spot and always delicious! The cafe wasn't very busy so we quickly got our food and enjoyed every bite. We had come to the end of our meal and we were packing up to go when a fellow approached our table and gave Saylor a wonderful toy handmade by this fellow Grandfather. I wish we had gotten his name! What a wonderful surprise and I am so grateful for the reminder about the spirit of the season.

I may be choosing to live with less and be trying to eliminate some of the clutter in our lives but I have a feeling this toy will be hanging around our home for a very long time.

This was difficult to get a picture of. It is a little figure with moving limbs hanging from a bit of elastic. When the "ladder" is moved the figure spins around like a gymnast. Thanks again to this fellow who brightened up our day and shared some Christmas spirit.

A Switch in Some of my thinking

I have had this post hanging around between my ears for over a week now. I prefer to plan my blog posts in my head comming up with my titles and some of the subject matter before I start writing. I know other bloggers have a note book dedicated to this process. I think that's a great idea I also know its not something I would maintain. On to the real topic.

Over the last three or four months I have been gradually de cluttering and getting rid of items we are no longer using or have no reason to store for future use. I made a large donation to charity and I have been using a couple different swap 'n shop pages on Facebook to sell other items. I have even sorted through my son's toys in anticipation of a few gifts being received at Christmas.

The aspect of this project that inspired me write about the process is knowing I need resist the urge to go out and purchase more items with the cash from selling what I can. To curtail my spending I have made goal of buying Saylor a new bed by his next birthday in May. I know I need to save up at least $500 for a bed,mattress and bedding. With a goal in my mind it motivates me to think differently about the small amounts of cash I make from selling things here and there. If I hang onto the money it will add up and I can meet my goal.

Previously I would get a little money in and I would immediatly find a way to spend it. Now I need to recognize my goal and make that my priority. I am going to try to write down the items I think I need or want and then wait a week before I rush out and buy something unless its food related.

I am feeling really good with my progress but I also know I have more work to do. I find it really difficult to maintain my momentum with this de- cluttering project.

Peaceful parenting Collaboration: Response #3 Being Positive

First I have to say that I have been procrastinating on this post as I feel that I haven't put much focus on this topic. At first I was trying to catch myself being negative that worked for a few days then I just forgot about it.  When I did give it some thought I found myself being negative around some of my son's behaviour. Like when he repeatedly attempts to stick objects in the electrical sockets or throwing toys over the gate towards the wood stove. I know at 18 months old he isn't able  to hold back and control these impulses. As his mom this is often frustrating to me and I do focus on the negative maybe a little too often.

I have also found myself feeling very negative towards the lack of time I get for myself. I rarely get quiet time on my own to refresh and relax. My wonderful and dedicated husband is busy with his full time job and full time volunteering. This means breaks and quiet times for  mommy are infrequent. I know this is the stage my life is at and in time my son will grow and need me less and I will once again have that time I crave. I think I need to find a way to move past my negativity and frustration and really enjoy the moments I do get on my own. I haven't laid a plan out to move forward but this topic has certainly increased my awareness round negative and postive thoughts.

Forgiveness: Mindful Parenting Collaboration #2

When I saw the topic last week my stomach did flip flops and I knew that this was something relevant to me. I let the information settle between my ears for a few days and gave myself time to process. It didn't take too much effort on my part to identify a couple people who I have felt "wronged" me in some way. Mulling this over further I was uncertain of my next step so I searched the internet for some resources that discuss forgiveness. I found this link and found it to be great reading, especially #16 Give up on all hope of a better past. -Matt Child this resonated with me. I have more work to do on forgiveness but I think I'm on my way. I have an object that belongs to one of these people that I would like to forgive. My goal is to return the object in the next few days so that each time I see it I am not reminded of the situation. My hope is that once I have returned the object I will fully be able to forgive this person.

In previous posts I have easily added links for some reason I am now having problems adding links :(

Breastfeeding at 17 months

Tonight as I was nursing my son to sleep I was reflecting on our nursing relationship. The first several weeks were beond challenging. It started with a poor latch despite lots of help from the lactation consultant in the hospital and my midwives. The poor latch led to cracked and bleeding nipples thank goodness for calendula cream. It healed my sore nipples and was safe for Saylor. It took a little too long for us to get a good latch sorted out and by then my milk supply had decreased. That led to a regime of taking domperidone, pumping and drinking a herbal tea was supposed to help,that all in hopes to increase my milk supply. All the work was definetly was worth it! We also supplimented with some formula until he was about 4 months old. After about 6 month I slowly decreased the time I put into pumping and eventually stopped altogether. Just after Saylor's first birthday I also stopped taking domperidone knowing that I had done my best and if my milk supply dried up I was ok with that.

Some how 17 months later Saylor is still nursing on demand with no signs of stopping. I love those quiet moments when he is happily nursing and I can soak in his scent and movements. He may no longer be my small infant but he is still my young son who my life now evolves around. I will continue our breastfeeding realationship until he decides he has had enough. There is nothing else that can calm or soothe like a bit of cuddle and some mama milk.